Invenzione della Nutella (
(in perfetto inglese)
Who invent the Nutel? Once upon a time, many, many, many, ma'na cifra of many years ago, at the beginning of the initiation of
the mond, there was the caos.
One day, God (God is the nome d'art of Dio), God, who
was disoccupated,had a folgorant idea and so God
created the Nutell. And God saw that the Nutell
was good, very good, very very good, good 'na cifra.
The mangiation of God was long, He manged one million
of barattols of Nutell sfrutting the fact that God has
not a Mamm that strills if you sbaff
too much Nutell...And after this mangiation, God invented the Water
Closed Run, the cors in the cabinet, and some Nutell's
derivates like the red bubbons, the panz,
the cellulit and ceter, and ceter. After di which
(dopodiche') he invented Adamo ed Eva and all the
paradise and he diss to Adamo and Eva: "Now you
have all the Paradise, you can do everything, very
tutt: you have the permission to eat, to drink, to
kiss, to scop; nothing lavor, nothing affit, nothing
concors of impiegats, nothing cod alla post, nothing =
IRPEF, ILOR. Only very ozious life: television, telenovels,
football, moviols, process of Monday, appell of
Tuesday, cassazion of Wednesday, and ceter,
and ceter. You have gratis restaurants, cinemas,
theaters, all the Paradise
is yours: air-conditioned, autom riscaldament,
moquette, parquett, tresset, bidet, omelette, eccet,
eccet.... "There's just one thing, remember, in tutt the
Paradise just one thing absolutely prohibited. Come,
come to me in the giardin: this is "the Nocciol", the
alber of the Nutell. Only this alber of the Nutell is
prohibited, because I like the Nutell very much, very
very much, much 'na cifra and I want all the Nutell,
tutt the Nutell for me."
During the prim temps, Adamo and Eva were very happy.
Adamo said:"What a cool! ('Cool' is not in Italian
'freddo', no, 'What a cool' means 'Che
cul') All the Paradise is nostr!" And everyday,
ognigiorn, they discovered something new. A lot of
scoperts, many scoperts, many many scoperts, 'na
cifra di scoperts. One day the scopert of the hot
water, one day the scopert of the spaghettis, one day
the cigarettes, and ceter, and ceter.
But one day, a trist day, a very very trist day, trist
'na cifra, Adamo and Eva fecer the scopert of the
first colazion. And after the scopert of the
cappuccin, the scopert of the aranch succ, the scopert
of the cornetts,they understood that something was
mancant.
"Eva!" said Adamo "Don't you think that qualcos is
mancant here, proprio here, 'ncopp this fett?"
"Second me" Eva risposed "'ncopp the fett you have to
metter burr and marmelade."
"No, no Eva, you know that the marmelade schif myself.
I want 'ncopp this fett something very particular,
very very particular, particular 'na cifra.
What do you think about the Nutell?"
"No, Adamo you are scording that the Signor said
that's vietat!" "Yes, I remember, but only a little
assaggiation, don't succed nothing!"
And Adamo sces in the cortil where the alber of the
Nutell was and he pres a small barattol and spalmed
the brown cream on the fett and assagged the Nutell.
Adamo and Eva don't ebber the time to exprimer the
godiment that the tuons and fulmins apparved in the
ciel and one voice said:"Potevamo stupirv you
with special effects, but I'm God, not Fantagod!
Adamo, Eva, come here!
I'm very incazz with you, very very incazz, incazz 'na
cifra! How did you permit to tocc the Nutell? Didn't
you remember that it was prohibited?"
"Cazz!" esclamed Adamo "It was prohibited! Oh, sorry,
God, I'm very very sorry, sorry 'na cifra, God, I
really really was completely scordat..."
"Don't do that fint tont, Adamo, I'm God, I can see
everything, very tutt, and I know that you and the
woman have deliberatament assaggiated the
Nutell. So you have a big punhition, a very castig for
your peccat. But siccom I'm sconfinatly good, you can
choose, you have two scelts:
"Scelt number 1: nothing Nutell for ever and ever in
the secols of the secols, amen!"
"Nooo!" Eva was piagnucoling "It's a thing very
tragic, very very tragic, tragic 'na cifra!"
"Aspett!" said God "Don't be frettolous woman...
"Scelt number 2: you can take the Nutell, no problem,
let's prend, prend, but for you is the cacciation out
of the Paradise. You will have to lavorar
with the sudor of your front, you will zapp the terr,
you'll have mal of schien and, like this don't
bastass, everytime you will mang Nutell, the
malediction of the brufols, of the mal of panch, of
the cacarel will be cadent on you."
"Ale'!" esclaimed Adamo "Thank you God, thank you, we
don't interess the cacciation dal Paradise, the
important is to have the Nutell! Goodbye!
Ciao, ciao!"
And so Adamo and Eva were cacciated and this original
peccat and this
malediction cadded on lor and on lor discendents, and
on the discendents of the discendents. Infact,
tutt'ogg, you can veder in the pubblicity all the
ragazz that per aver one fett of pan and Nutell they
scalan the mountains they stay in a tend al fredd and
al gel and ceter, and ceter.
But the final pensier of tutti noi is "It's meglio
faticar and soffrir with the Nutell piuttost che the
Terrestr Paradise senz the Nutell."